This is The Family Responsibilities Office

My headache began in 2002, and became a full blown nightmare on January 8, 2009. In 2002, I was court-ordered to pay child support. This support was to be paid to the Family Responsibilities Office of Ontario. Who in turn forwards said payment to the recipient (my ex).

I tried to pay FRO right after the order was made, however they informed me I could not make payments until the case file is set up in their computer system. If I paid her directly and she doesn’t report the payments to them, then they have no choice but to enforce the order, and I would have to pay again. Sorry, but who trusts their Ex that much? I know people that do trust their current spouse this much.



Eleven months later I received a threatening letter. These are standard letters informing you ( The Pryor ) that FRO has the right to take enforcement actions against you. These actions may include suspension of drivers or any federal license (e.g. pilot ), revoke passport, seizure of bank accounts, garnishment of income source, and or any federal money, writ of seizure and sale of property , and of course jail. One would think suspending the license of a long haul truck driver in an attempt to get money from him would be counter productive. I had not paid my support in 11 months this is true, however in my defense I couldn’t make payments to a case file that didn’t exist. Could I ?



This should have told me all I needed to know about this office. Why would this be my first contact from FRO? They told me I could not pay them until my case file was in the computer and, the first contact with them threatens me with up to and including jail? Nice to know we got off on the right foot.



Over the next few years, I continued working as a long haul truck driver. This made it difficult to keep on top of things. It would also prove expensive too! Over and over I made payments to FRO, but they failed to reach my ex. I had been paying child support in cash for an older child from a pervious relationship. We never had the need to go to court. That is until FRO’ s repeated accounting mishaps and utter incompetence. They began taking 50 % of my income making it next to impossible to pay my bills plus support my oldest child.

This led to a second file with FRO which again took a year for FRO to set up and a new letter of the same enforcement actions was received.



Again I was accused of being a “deadbeat” that didn’t want to pay his support payments.

Again to a file that did not exist till the day they mailed their “how do you do?” letter.

I pick up and drop my children off every other weekend, no matter where my children’s mother decides to move, as long as it’s within 2 hours which leads me to six hours of additional driving every other weekend in order to visit with my boys.

No one seemed to care about the money I spend on gas or even the extra driving an already tired truck driver was doing after his long week of work. I did this work so I could provide money for FRO to play hide and seek with.



FRO had already proven to be a major pain, yet the best was still to come.

January 8, 2009, I was contacted by FRO by letter telling me I had not paid a penny in support in years, to either case. It was demanded I pay $1,200 within the next 48 hours or FRO would suspend my license. Although I had proof of $2,700 that was paid for arrears while waiting for the case file to be opened. This money had reached its recipient, however still managed to not be applied to the case file? I should mention that FRO likes to take say a $100 payment and turn it into a series of smaller payments and not in whole dollar either. So you need to be quick with the calculator. This way the number you have and the numbers FRO Enforcement Agents are spitting out don’t match and you, get mad and they hang up. This also helps detour you from fighting them in court as you can’t afford for a lawyer to keep up with the paper work let alone finger this mess out. And if you can they can always through a 50% garnishment at you. You could get an accountant to try to decipher it? However I don’t think he or she will like you very much come tax time. The total outstanding balance according to FRO was $11,400 for the two cases.

I hit the roof as you can imagine. I went to my bank and retrieved records of money coming out of my account and being sent to FRO. The reply was “That doesn’t prove that you paid your support. You need to prove who got the money.



I asked the agent, if he thought I would pay someone else’s support, and not my own?......... He didn’t understand why I would do that either, however would still not even consider it may be a problem on FRO’ s end.



I asked when the last payment was received. The answer was the first date after I had set up a auto payment on my account, meaning they had received payments before this way. There for, it was not the bank’s mistake as they don’t type in case numbers each time the payment is sent. Hence, “Automated payments” .



My case manager promised me. If I took my case to court, that FRO has more than enough lawyers to tie me up in court for years.. It would be cheaper to give them the $11,000. Besides it would be very difficult to afford a lawyer as he could put a 50% garnishment on my wages. I called a few lawyers and, they all agreed with him. Some had first hand experience with this kind of situation. Others where still willing to take my money, if I was willing to give it to them.

So I opted for the 50% garnishment of my wages and a 100% on all federal money e.g. Income tax returns.



I thought if they garnished me, my problems would be over.

Surely FRO can’t say they are not receiving payment if they are garnished, right?

Maria, the wonderful lady from the company payroll department who handles all special cases such as garnishments. Took offence to FRO suggesting she didn’t enter the case file numbers properly. Again FRO received the first payment, but nothing after. This is now the second time FRO has blamed the other company. The 3^rd and 4^th Revenue Canada and Employment Insurance, respectively. How can an office with Responsibilities in the name not ever be responsible for anything? Wow! isn’t that ironic?

Since January 8, 2009, I have received forty of these love letters. All for not making payments of child support, which are again already being garnished from my income source. Still! To this day!

How can this continue to happen?

It should be easy to get this straightened out right?

Wrong again. I have to go into my MPP’ s office with all of my income tax statements, pay stubs etc. for them to fax it to FRO.

The ladies at MPP John O’ Toole’ s office have spent hours helping me prove to FRO that they are receiving money being sent to them by the Federal Government. And I thank them very much for that. I am not always in a great mood when visiting. But they are understanding as, I am sure it is frustrating for them too.

After the first time this happened and was straightened out, I thought OK this is over. They can’t want me to keep going to my MPP’ s to point out FRO’ s continuous inability to do the simplest of math.



Guess what happens a few months later. Yes, That’s a gold star for you! I am not even half way through my story and you can see a pattern. Off to MPP O’ Toole’ s office again to re-fax everything yet again. I don’t remember how many times I have called or visited the MPP’ s office over the pasted 27 months. I can tell you. When I call, I no longer have to tell them who is calling. They know my voice. All of my voices. The loud one tends to call first. Since July 2010, I have had to prove that my wages are garnished every two – three months. This March was the fourth time since the previous July. I have now accumulated about six inches of paper work since this latest ordeal began. Without going to court.



Around June or July of 2010 I realized that the credit bureau had not been informed of any of my payments from Jan 2009 to July 2010. I had paid $11,400 of arrears I maintain, I did not accumulate of my own accord, plus my on going support. I managed this in just eight months. It wasn’t easy for me or my family this was a hard and very stressful period. I called FRO and demanded they contact the credit bureau and clear my credit rating. Fair is fair right? Well,,,, not when the office you are dealing with, is funded by the Ontario Government.



FRO’ s budget is nearly $50 million annually. This is from 2006, the most recent information I could find. Although I didn’t spend that much time looking. It could be higher now? I can not prove that it is, so I will not say that it is. I will stick to what I can back up.

They did eventually report my payments to the credit bureau’s Equifax and Trans Union Credit. They also sent me copies of these letters, dated July 29 2010 and were sent by the enforcement manager who I shall not name. As Somehow I can see me having to pay for that too.

These letters show a balance of $0.00 on both case files. I have these letters in my files and am willing to prove it. I also have a Schedule (A ) that do not show any other charges, after that date other than support charges. A schedule (A) is a print out from FRO showing any and all charges to your case file.



In September, I again receive a threatening letter dated September 9^th 2010 saying I owed $1,143.15 in arrears on just one case file. My Mother is stopping by later today her semi retired grade school teacher friend, so I will double check this next part. My monthly support payment is $300.00 for this case. July 29^th to September 9^th is just 42 days. How many days are in a month? Even if I didn’t pay in August and they added the September payment before the end of the month as is common practice. It still doesn’t add up to $1143.15. Lets simplify this. 3+ 3 = ???? If you came to a number greater than 6. Congratulations you have pasted your aptitude test for FRO’ s manager of accounting job. If you do not speak either of the two official languages of this Country. I am sure they will have a public relations position for you too.



July, 31 2009 I suffered a severe head injury. Complete with inter-cranial hemorrhages. A few days after my release from hospital. I contacted my case manger to inform him of my situation. I had just paid off my arrears and didn’t need that again. He laughed saying that was a new one. People will say anything to get out of paying for their responsibilities. I can prove that injury too. CT scans and MRI’ s don’t lie.



By July 2010, I was on EI sick benefits and federal garnishments are still in place so this should go just fine. It’s now been 8 months and four trips to the MPP’ s office armed with every statement sent to me showing a garnishment for the “Family Order”.

Yet I now find myself a little over $3,000 in arrears as of March 11, 2011. How can this be?

Here’s something funny on March 10, 2011, I was in arrears for $1,773.93. the next day for the same case I was told $2,073.93 – guess another month went by. I must have hit my head harder than I thought.



Since my accident I have had to learn to do a lot of things over again. Things like Reading, Writing and Arithmetic. I have had one failed attempt of a return to work as well. I am currently doing up grading and preparing for collage. So that I may make a return to the work force and become a contributing member of society again. What you are reading is my first attempt at an Essay since High School many years ago, how am I doing? Through all of this I have not given up, or felt sorry for myself. The only time I have felt helpless is when dealing with this negligent, trite, mismanaged band of misfits at the Family Responsibility Office. This office is like a bloodhound locked on it’s own scent. For those of you not in the know, a Hunting dog that doesn’t hunt, tend to have a short life expectancy. Maybe it’s time someone took the FRO office for one last long walk out behind the barn.



I understand that this office is needed. However the incompetence isn’t, and must stop. I have simply Googled the words Family Responsibilities Office, Ontario Ombudsman and Ontario Auditor General – all separately, however FRO and either of the other two will have you bombarded with years of reading material on repeated incompetence, abuse of power, and missed opportunities to collect tens of thousands of dollars in arrears. The list goes on for seemingly ever. One of these missed opportunities was for over $26,000. The recipient even called FRO. For months June- September informing them of a home being sold by her ex husband. FRO reacted four months later, or one month after the sale of said house. She was not informed of anything by FRO until she contacted the Ombudsman’s office in December.



The abusive nature of the enforcement agents who never seem to know anything, is due to the screaming recipients not getting support payments that they often know are being paid, Hostile Payers who are not being credited for their payments. As well as the many thousands of case holders that are getting no attention. Cant imagine they are chipper, I have had to show my pay stubs to my screaming Ex. To show that it is not that I am not paying the ordered support.

When she contacted FRO they stuck to “ he is not paying.” She told them about the garnishment on my pay and that she had seen this. “His employer must not be sending it properly.” Was the next excuse she was given. We have a good relationship other than support not getting to her.

I have called FRO many times as I am paying and the money is not going to my children, and it is not showing up as being paid. I can admit that these calls usually end with me yelling at some smug Enforcement Agent who is telling me “that’s what the computer is telling me.” I even walk one Agent through a little lesson in logic. Spock,, he is not! If there is a Federal garnishment in place against me and I am on EI, how can you not get the payment? He still said “that’s what the computer says.” Really Gomer? How do you get home at night without your trusty computer telling you where to go? Even after proving my payments, it doesn’t always show up. It never stops.

I have talked to two other Mothers who are both owed more than $10,000 in arrears who have been told to hire private investigators to find where their ex’s work or live. Both have provided this information to the FRO and still can’t get FRO to enforce the orders. I could introduce you to these women, but their privacy is too important. Some interesting information I found stating that FRO was given $40 million in 2006 for a state of the art computer system and to help set up Special Enforcement Teams who’s sole purpose is to track down and find ways to collect from delinquent Payers. So why are people being told to hire Private Investigators? What’s next? Will they hire,,, The Dogg? This is money well spent.



One of these women was forced to sell her home, because she is supporting her three children on her salary of $35,000/yr. Without the support that was court order, and not enforced by FRO. The over ten thousand dollars she is owed would have helped I’m sure. I am not saying that these payments are not being made. I have no way of knowing that, however I can say that no payments are being forwarded to the recipients. And nothing is being done to find out what is going on. Or at least not that FRO is telling.



These are not isolated incidents. Talk to anyone involved with FRO, That includes your MPP’ s office staff. You will find these stories are everywhere. Or, to make it easy check out Deadbeat Government agency finally pays up, written by Antonella Artuso.

Year after year the Ontario Ombudsman and the Ontario Auditor General give the Family Responsibilities Office failing grades. (as far back as 2003).Yet seemingly, this office actually gets worse, not better. The Ministry of Community and Social Services Office sits idly by and pretends things are going great. I only said that because when I was on their web site, the site speaks glowingly about the success of the program.

It is an absolute insult for me to read the fiction on this site.



I know first hand how they operate. The site claims “The Family Responsibility Office helps people meet their court-ordered spousal/child support responsibilities. It also claims “we work to make sure that support payments flow from the person who pays support to the person receives it”. If you count 40 threatening letters in 27 months to someone who voluntarily had his wages garnished to have proof through a third party, fair? Is that help? The FRO Web site also claims they handle $650 million in collected payments per year from 180,000 cases that represents nearly 400,000 people.



I would think the number of people would be higher as I think of my children as people too. And see first hand how my children could befit from my payments but they are lost in the shuffle and I cant afford to pay them twice. Well I guess the summer is coming. I could tent it for the summer. Somewhere in the offices of FRO my case managers can be heard “ya gotta do whatcha gotta do.”



According to the Auditor General’s report from 2010, FRO is really only working on about 15% of the 180,000 cases. That is 27,000 cases (In reality) of the 180,000 cases. That also means 153,000 cases are not being worked on. If they are handling $650 million? that, I believe brakes down to $24,074.04 per case, per year, meaning the average monthly payment is $2,006.17 per month. There are support guide lines you can look them up on-line. I have two children who I pay support through this office for. For my payment to be $2006.04 per month. My income would need to be over 150,000 per year. Am I to believe that the average income for people in this program is $ 150,000 per year? I for one, highly doubt that, now $650 million divided by 180,000 is 3,611 per year, per case . Which is about $300 per month meaning the average income is more like $36,000 and, one child in the system. That I believe. I would only have one case file had it not be for FRO to begin with. So this should read that FRO should collect 650 million and should handle 180,000 cases? Of the 1.3 billion of uncollected support payments as of 2006. $200 million was owed to Ontario works that was then, I wonder how much now? They don’t just waste their budget they take for other budgets too. Don’t believe me, check with Ontario Works and ODSP. I have two letters from Ontario works offices trying to collect money form me, because FRO didn’t send my payments to them as they were ordered to do. What? The Family Responsibilities Office didn’t follow an order? Instead they pass the buck to me! I hope you are keeping track of the millions FRO is costing tax payers. I lost count I think we are passed the half billion mark since 2003. Again this is just information that is readily available to all citizens of this Province. It’s called the freedom of information act.



As I mentioned before, I have been forced to change careers. Maybe I should apply for the position of Director of FRO. I am willing to bet one of the two pennies I have left to rub together, that I am grossly under-qualified. How I could possibly do worse than nothing? I can tell you this much. I would not keep the same management staff that has not achieved even reasonable results or any signs of improvements since 2003. Unless spending $50 million of our tax dollars is the goal.

I would like to give a shout out to my case manager who I can’t name. I may not have been able to fight you in the court of law, But I can take you the court of public opinion as it is free! All I need is an opinion. Oh this year is special. And I don’t think you have enough spin to weasel your way out of this.

I for one would like to see our elected officials act as responsible government and stop this obscene waste of tax money.

Please feel free to contact your MPP. Call the Minister of Community and Social Services Office. The Family Responsibilities Office themselves, Minister Madeline Meilleur MPP. home riding of Ottawa - Vanier (613- 744-4484).

However, if you call FRO and don’t have a case number you can’t get past the automated call directory. Amazing how their automated call service works.



I urge everyone to stand up for yourself, your children, heck stand up for one another. These are our tax dollars. It seems we don’t stand up until services disappear, there are even longer waiting times for said services or our taxes are raised. It’s time of our Provincial Government to become responsible to the tax payers and start cutting wasteful spending, not our services. And they are OUR SERVICES!!!

My Traumatic Brain Injury

   My accident happened July 31, 2009. I was rollerblading when I stumbled on some small rocks. I got my balance and was rolling backward, just about to turn and……

    I hear my name, and see the girl from the store and her brother running toward me. It’s taking them forever to get to me. Why are you moving so slow? The best way I can explain it, is the slow motion part at the end of a action movie when the hero is dying and his side kick is running to save him, very surreal. A few months later this young women who found me lying in the street, and I my mind saved my life. Would also shatter my belief system. In just a few short words everything I believed about life and death was gone. This is what she said. “ I thought you were dead.” “You didn’t move I was yelling at you, and you didn’t move when I touched you, you jumped and tried to get up.” “ You scared me”. I thought, I saw you get out of your car? I saw you running to me? She tells me I wasn’t awake. Was I dreaming? This is something that still bothers me as I don’t have an answer for this. Not one I am willing to except. She and her brother helped me to the house I told them I lived in, I was only off by two doors. What do you want? I just whacked my melon pretty hard. The neighbors took over from there as this girl and her brother where on their way to work at the store that she knew me from. She had just asked me my name the day before. She had served me at that store for about a year. I think everyone who has met me will vouch for me here. I will talk to anybody. So to say we have talk a few times would be an a bit of an understatement. I have since moved, therefore I no longer see her or her brother any more. Funny how things work out isn’t it? Possibly the most profound moment in my life. The births of my children exempted. The person I many very well owe my life, only spent one year in it and not a big role either. I say this as it was her voice I heard calling to me and when she touched me I woke up. I went to the hospital after my neighbors got me home and my better and smarter half took control.

    The hospital was very busy, it was Friday night after all. I ended up talking my way out of waiting. I have had a few concussions in my day. Just wake me up every hour or so. I assured her. There would be no need as I spent most of my night awake sick to my stomach. There was no way of getting out of another trip to the hospital, however I didn’t see the need in our eight month old to be there for it. There was no one available to watch him. So I was dropped off at the E.R doors. I was one of few people there this time. I don’t think I got all the way checked in before I was with a doctor. All I said was I hit my head yesterday and had been sick to my stomach. Before I knew it I was on my way for a CT scan. Ok now your get a little carried away, is this just because I forgot it was August? Come on it’s the 1^st I would have forgotten that, even before I fell! The doctor told me she had some not so good news. I asked her if I had killed the hamster? The doctor didn’t share my sense of humor. The doctor gave me some pills and a glass of water. The pills where for the head ache she assured me was coming. I have know idea what those pills were, but WOW! The rest was a little difficult for me to understand thank-you pills. She told me I had some bleeding in my brain and they had called and my family, and they where on their way.

   I had a total of four hemorrhages in my brain. Mostly in the center of my frontal lobe, One massive bleed and three minor bleeds. Any hemorrhage in your brain is not a good thing. Kind of like a stroke. This is what they call a Traumatic Brain Injury or TBI. There really was nothing they could do just medicate me and hope the bleeding stopped. Its not like they can just sew your brain back together. I really didn’t understand what was going on, and that was probably for the best. I remember thinking they where over reacting this isn’t happening I am not going down this way, not without a fight. I don’t know if thinking this way helped or not, but it couldn’t have hurt. I have recovered almost fully, and faster then I expected. I say this in hide site. I really didn’t started to make progress until we realized these problems I encountered where the results of the injury. Treating me like others that suffer these same symptoms without a TBI wasn’t working. It proved to be a difficult and trying thing to get through. I sometimes think it has been harder for the people around me, then it was on me. I don’t think any of them understand what I have been through, and still struggle with from time to time. Just like I don’t remember all of what has happened with me, the things I have done or said to the people that have been here with me. There have been times I didn’t even know myself at all. A few have not made it to the end of this journey as they haven’t been around in awhile. I can’t say that I blame them, but I wish they didn’t blame me.

   What I have gone through is not uncommon for people that have suffered a TBI. Although the results and recovery can be very different pending on the area of the brain that has been damaged. My most damaged area was the center of my frontal lobe. This area is what makes us who we are. I found this information on neuroskills.com “This is your emotional control center and the home of to our personality. There is no other area of the brain which lesions can cause as wide range of symptoms.” “The frontal lobe is involved with motor function, problem solving, spontaneity, memory, language, initiation, judgment, impulse control, social and sexual behavior.” If I had damaged the occipital lobe I may have had problems with or loss of vision, colour blindness, visual hallucinations, Ect. You get the point. There are four lobes divided into two hemispheres. Each controlling different functions. There is to much, to explain what each lobes functions are. I will just tell you some of my own symptoms. At first it was the obvious memory problems and I would ware down easily. I had a bad habit of hanging up on people as I would forget who I was talking to, or what we were talking about so I would just hang up. Sometimes in the middle of my own sentence. I think it was about a month or so after my injury that I found I couldn’t read or write any more. This just happened one day. I read the paper and magazines in the hospital then out of the blue nothing. I wasn’t all that great at reading to begin with, but I couldn’t read at a grade one level when this happened. I couldn’t do simple math in my head either, I could if I wrote it down. It was a little embarrassing to have to write down 11- 7 = 4, but I had to. I did crossword puzzles and looked up the words I didn’t know the meaning of. It came back slowly.



    It was the emotional problems that where the hardest to deal with and get past. And to some extent I am still working on this, however I feel better then I have ever felt before or after my TBI. I have had to learn to deal with all of my emotions over again. I really have had to find my self, for most that is just a metaphor. At first I just seemed to have very little patience, and angered easily. Then the depression started I would bounce up and down sometimes hourly with outbursts of anger. The longer it went the more volatile I got. Then I started becoming suicidal, and paranoid, after a car accident I was pushed by my family and finally agreed to see a psychiatrist. I was put on a medication to help me deal with the depression that had taken hold of me. I was losing my battle and needed the help. At first it was good, but about two months later things took a turn for the worse. Quickly becoming worse then ever. My angry outbursts had become all out rage, the depression made my more suicidal then before. I was becoming more paranoid day by day. I could see I was spinning out of control, and I thought the people closest to me were doing this to me on propose. I know now and to a point then that this wasn’t true. I just couldn’t stop it. I hated myself for hating the people closest to me. I felt like I was losing my mind if I had not already lost it.

    A change in thinking and medication made these feelings and thoughts subside. I was starting to resemble the person I was before. I don’t see the psychiatrist any more. I am on the right medication now it’s just a matter of fine touning the dosage. At first the thinking was the depression came from the injury and that was the cause of all the problems I was experiencing. When the thinking change to the area of the brain that had been damaged being the cause of the symptoms. I had realized that my sense of smell was gone the psychiatrist took great interest in that information this was the first time he showed a reaction and was soon checking my MRI’ s and CT scans. Soon I was put on Seroquel. Seroquel affects the neurotransmitters in the brain. The neurotransmitters that where no longer working or being produced after my injury.

   I assume I will need to be on this medication for the remainder of my life. A life I am lucky to have. I have lost some friends and even some loved ones through all of this, but I am alive and very thankful for that. I have been through my own personal hell and have taken others along for the scariest rollercoaster ride you can imagine. I wish I hadn’t lost these people while this was going on however I can’t change it. I can’t tell you how hard it is to be trapped in your own mind watching yourself do and say things you know you shouldn’t and don’t want yourself to do. I cant explain it to you to make you understand but I felt like I was watching someone else control me. I don’t know why or how this happens. I can only tell you that it did happen to me, and has and will happen to many others. If you are one of the unfortunate people watching your loved one go through this please be patience and try not to take it to heart your loved one doesn’t know what they are doing. What they do realize they are doing, they don’t want to. It is important that you don’t show them how much they have hurt you. I know that sounds wrong, but they can switch in a split second and you can’t give the depression any fuel or you may lose them forever. They can and will came back to you. You need to be there to help guide them through this maze of emotions they no longer understand. You cant push them as this will make them push back making things worse. They may not seem like the same person, but they are there, You need to find a way to talk to the one you know, pick your spots carefully cause when you can get through to them the real progress can be made. I have found counseling very helpful in my quest to learn to handle my emotions again. Part of this is also up to the brain to find ways around the damaged brain tissue as well. It’s like the telephone lines being knocked down, your phone will not work till the lines get fixed or rerouted. Maybe the rest of towns phones work just not in your area. After a TBI parts of the brain will go into hibernation as long as a year, so knowing the full extent of the damage can take a year or two. Look for little things, try to catch it as soon as you can. It could save your life again or at the very least save you a lot of extra work.

   So far since my fall I have learned or reminded myself to read and write I read better then before go figure. I can now do math in my head, but it has yet to get back to were it was before. A year ago I didn’t understand any of my feeling or thoughts, I didn’t even no who I was. I have paid a hefty price for one little stumble, physically, mentally and emotionally. I have lost some close friends, my better half and almost myself. These people I miss, some greatly. I have learned more about myself in the last one and a half years then most will learn in a life time. I have found more strength within myself then I ever knew I had. When I didn’t have it for myself I found with my loved ones. For that I will never be able to express my gratitude. Last summer one of my support system was taken from us in an accident at work. I never got the chance to thank him for all of his help. But Craig I will never forget you or what you have done for me. If you notice the name of my blog is in Craig’s memory. He use to say “I have an opinion!, and I will give it to you”. For those that didn’t make it to the end of my nightmare I truly apologize for everything I have put you through, and I don’t hold it against you. I do hope that someday you can find it within yourself to forgive me, and maybe we can start again. To this day and for the remainder of my life I will always have a special place in my heart for the people that found me, and will always remember the voice that saved me. I have thanked these people however I have never found the words to express how thankful I truly am. The odds of survival after an injury like this are about 20 % with immediate medical attention and go down the longer it takes to receive it. I was over 12 hours after I suffered the injury. So when I say I am lucky to be where I am today it is a major understatement. Even after you get past the injury its self there is the depression, reckless risky behavior, and complete personality changes are waiting. I can’t tell you what symptoms your TBI survivor will have like I said it depends on the location of the damage. The doctors really can’t predict what you will do either. Nobody can say with complete certainty. I suggest you do your homework and watch your loved one closely over the next year or two. Watch for the first signs and try to catch it as soon as you can. The longer you wait the harder and the longer the road will be. I know I have said this before. I just can’t tell you how important this is. For those of you that are suffering the symptoms please take it from someone who has been there. You can’t undo your injury, you may not ever get it all back exactly the way it was, however you can’t give up. Every time I was told I wouldn’t be able to do this or that. I took it as a personal challenge. That was the person I was coming out. If you know me you know I am competitive. So far I have proved everyone wrong I hope I can prove myself wrong as I do have some doubts from time to time. I am not 100 % but I am very close. The next step is to reinstituted more expects to my everyday life, this will take time as it needs to be done slowly so that I can adjust to the new pressure a little bit at a time. What I use to do as my everyday life has become over whelming at times. I have rushed this process before and had set backs so I will take it as slow as I need to. I can’t get discouraged this is just the way it is. I can’t let others push me to do things quicker then what is comfortable for me. The most important thing is I can’t give up. I have come to far to give up now. I wish you all the best with your recovery. Again the best advice is don’t waste your time feeling sorry for yourself you can’t change it. Never give up! Nobody knows what you can achieve. Always push yourself to be better tomorrow. Trust the people that are there with you, they love you, even if you can’t see it at this time. You will. Don’t be to surprised if some people walk away from you it is hard for them too. You have to be stronger then that. The people taking the brunt of the backlash. Try to remember your survivor doesn’t mean to do these things, they are confused and don’t know who to trust I didn’t even trust myself. I wish I could tell you some easy way to get through these very trying times, but the truth is there isn’t an easy way. I have come out of this a new man, I have learned many things, both about myself and others. If I could go back and change things I most certainly wouldn’t do it again, but I am not mad that it happened anymore. I have been given a gift it just came in a really ugly package.





    Thank you for your time and good luck with your fight. R. England.