This is The Family Responsibilities Office

My headache began in 2002, and became a full blown nightmare on January 8, 2009. In 2002, I was court-ordered to pay child support. This support was to be paid to the Family Responsibilities Office of Ontario. Who in turn forwards said payment to the recipient (my ex).

I tried to pay FRO right after the order was made, however they informed me I could not make payments until the case file is set up in their computer system. If I paid her directly and she doesn’t report the payments to them, then they have no choice but to enforce the order, and I would have to pay again. Sorry, but who trusts their Ex that much? I know people that do trust their current spouse this much.



Eleven months later I received a threatening letter. These are standard letters informing you ( The Pryor ) that FRO has the right to take enforcement actions against you. These actions may include suspension of drivers or any federal license (e.g. pilot ), revoke passport, seizure of bank accounts, garnishment of income source, and or any federal money, writ of seizure and sale of property , and of course jail. One would think suspending the license of a long haul truck driver in an attempt to get money from him would be counter productive. I had not paid my support in 11 months this is true, however in my defense I couldn’t make payments to a case file that didn’t exist. Could I ?



This should have told me all I needed to know about this office. Why would this be my first contact from FRO? They told me I could not pay them until my case file was in the computer and, the first contact with them threatens me with up to and including jail? Nice to know we got off on the right foot.



Over the next few years, I continued working as a long haul truck driver. This made it difficult to keep on top of things. It would also prove expensive too! Over and over I made payments to FRO, but they failed to reach my ex. I had been paying child support in cash for an older child from a pervious relationship. We never had the need to go to court. That is until FRO’ s repeated accounting mishaps and utter incompetence. They began taking 50 % of my income making it next to impossible to pay my bills plus support my oldest child.

This led to a second file with FRO which again took a year for FRO to set up and a new letter of the same enforcement actions was received.



Again I was accused of being a “deadbeat” that didn’t want to pay his support payments.

Again to a file that did not exist till the day they mailed their “how do you do?” letter.

I pick up and drop my children off every other weekend, no matter where my children’s mother decides to move, as long as it’s within 2 hours which leads me to six hours of additional driving every other weekend in order to visit with my boys.

No one seemed to care about the money I spend on gas or even the extra driving an already tired truck driver was doing after his long week of work. I did this work so I could provide money for FRO to play hide and seek with.



FRO had already proven to be a major pain, yet the best was still to come.

January 8, 2009, I was contacted by FRO by letter telling me I had not paid a penny in support in years, to either case. It was demanded I pay $1,200 within the next 48 hours or FRO would suspend my license. Although I had proof of $2,700 that was paid for arrears while waiting for the case file to be opened. This money had reached its recipient, however still managed to not be applied to the case file? I should mention that FRO likes to take say a $100 payment and turn it into a series of smaller payments and not in whole dollar either. So you need to be quick with the calculator. This way the number you have and the numbers FRO Enforcement Agents are spitting out don’t match and you, get mad and they hang up. This also helps detour you from fighting them in court as you can’t afford for a lawyer to keep up with the paper work let alone finger this mess out. And if you can they can always through a 50% garnishment at you. You could get an accountant to try to decipher it? However I don’t think he or she will like you very much come tax time. The total outstanding balance according to FRO was $11,400 for the two cases.

I hit the roof as you can imagine. I went to my bank and retrieved records of money coming out of my account and being sent to FRO. The reply was “That doesn’t prove that you paid your support. You need to prove who got the money.



I asked the agent, if he thought I would pay someone else’s support, and not my own?......... He didn’t understand why I would do that either, however would still not even consider it may be a problem on FRO’ s end.



I asked when the last payment was received. The answer was the first date after I had set up a auto payment on my account, meaning they had received payments before this way. There for, it was not the bank’s mistake as they don’t type in case numbers each time the payment is sent. Hence, “Automated payments” .



My case manager promised me. If I took my case to court, that FRO has more than enough lawyers to tie me up in court for years.. It would be cheaper to give them the $11,000. Besides it would be very difficult to afford a lawyer as he could put a 50% garnishment on my wages. I called a few lawyers and, they all agreed with him. Some had first hand experience with this kind of situation. Others where still willing to take my money, if I was willing to give it to them.

So I opted for the 50% garnishment of my wages and a 100% on all federal money e.g. Income tax returns.



I thought if they garnished me, my problems would be over.

Surely FRO can’t say they are not receiving payment if they are garnished, right?

Maria, the wonderful lady from the company payroll department who handles all special cases such as garnishments. Took offence to FRO suggesting she didn’t enter the case file numbers properly. Again FRO received the first payment, but nothing after. This is now the second time FRO has blamed the other company. The 3^rd and 4^th Revenue Canada and Employment Insurance, respectively. How can an office with Responsibilities in the name not ever be responsible for anything? Wow! isn’t that ironic?

Since January 8, 2009, I have received forty of these love letters. All for not making payments of child support, which are again already being garnished from my income source. Still! To this day!

How can this continue to happen?

It should be easy to get this straightened out right?

Wrong again. I have to go into my MPP’ s office with all of my income tax statements, pay stubs etc. for them to fax it to FRO.

The ladies at MPP John O’ Toole’ s office have spent hours helping me prove to FRO that they are receiving money being sent to them by the Federal Government. And I thank them very much for that. I am not always in a great mood when visiting. But they are understanding as, I am sure it is frustrating for them too.

After the first time this happened and was straightened out, I thought OK this is over. They can’t want me to keep going to my MPP’ s to point out FRO’ s continuous inability to do the simplest of math.



Guess what happens a few months later. Yes, That’s a gold star for you! I am not even half way through my story and you can see a pattern. Off to MPP O’ Toole’ s office again to re-fax everything yet again. I don’t remember how many times I have called or visited the MPP’ s office over the pasted 27 months. I can tell you. When I call, I no longer have to tell them who is calling. They know my voice. All of my voices. The loud one tends to call first. Since July 2010, I have had to prove that my wages are garnished every two – three months. This March was the fourth time since the previous July. I have now accumulated about six inches of paper work since this latest ordeal began. Without going to court.



Around June or July of 2010 I realized that the credit bureau had not been informed of any of my payments from Jan 2009 to July 2010. I had paid $11,400 of arrears I maintain, I did not accumulate of my own accord, plus my on going support. I managed this in just eight months. It wasn’t easy for me or my family this was a hard and very stressful period. I called FRO and demanded they contact the credit bureau and clear my credit rating. Fair is fair right? Well,,,, not when the office you are dealing with, is funded by the Ontario Government.



FRO’ s budget is nearly $50 million annually. This is from 2006, the most recent information I could find. Although I didn’t spend that much time looking. It could be higher now? I can not prove that it is, so I will not say that it is. I will stick to what I can back up.

They did eventually report my payments to the credit bureau’s Equifax and Trans Union Credit. They also sent me copies of these letters, dated July 29 2010 and were sent by the enforcement manager who I shall not name. As Somehow I can see me having to pay for that too.

These letters show a balance of $0.00 on both case files. I have these letters in my files and am willing to prove it. I also have a Schedule (A ) that do not show any other charges, after that date other than support charges. A schedule (A) is a print out from FRO showing any and all charges to your case file.



In September, I again receive a threatening letter dated September 9^th 2010 saying I owed $1,143.15 in arrears on just one case file. My Mother is stopping by later today her semi retired grade school teacher friend, so I will double check this next part. My monthly support payment is $300.00 for this case. July 29^th to September 9^th is just 42 days. How many days are in a month? Even if I didn’t pay in August and they added the September payment before the end of the month as is common practice. It still doesn’t add up to $1143.15. Lets simplify this. 3+ 3 = ???? If you came to a number greater than 6. Congratulations you have pasted your aptitude test for FRO’ s manager of accounting job. If you do not speak either of the two official languages of this Country. I am sure they will have a public relations position for you too.



July, 31 2009 I suffered a severe head injury. Complete with inter-cranial hemorrhages. A few days after my release from hospital. I contacted my case manger to inform him of my situation. I had just paid off my arrears and didn’t need that again. He laughed saying that was a new one. People will say anything to get out of paying for their responsibilities. I can prove that injury too. CT scans and MRI’ s don’t lie.



By July 2010, I was on EI sick benefits and federal garnishments are still in place so this should go just fine. It’s now been 8 months and four trips to the MPP’ s office armed with every statement sent to me showing a garnishment for the “Family Order”.

Yet I now find myself a little over $3,000 in arrears as of March 11, 2011. How can this be?

Here’s something funny on March 10, 2011, I was in arrears for $1,773.93. the next day for the same case I was told $2,073.93 – guess another month went by. I must have hit my head harder than I thought.



Since my accident I have had to learn to do a lot of things over again. Things like Reading, Writing and Arithmetic. I have had one failed attempt of a return to work as well. I am currently doing up grading and preparing for collage. So that I may make a return to the work force and become a contributing member of society again. What you are reading is my first attempt at an Essay since High School many years ago, how am I doing? Through all of this I have not given up, or felt sorry for myself. The only time I have felt helpless is when dealing with this negligent, trite, mismanaged band of misfits at the Family Responsibility Office. This office is like a bloodhound locked on it’s own scent. For those of you not in the know, a Hunting dog that doesn’t hunt, tend to have a short life expectancy. Maybe it’s time someone took the FRO office for one last long walk out behind the barn.



I understand that this office is needed. However the incompetence isn’t, and must stop. I have simply Googled the words Family Responsibilities Office, Ontario Ombudsman and Ontario Auditor General – all separately, however FRO and either of the other two will have you bombarded with years of reading material on repeated incompetence, abuse of power, and missed opportunities to collect tens of thousands of dollars in arrears. The list goes on for seemingly ever. One of these missed opportunities was for over $26,000. The recipient even called FRO. For months June- September informing them of a home being sold by her ex husband. FRO reacted four months later, or one month after the sale of said house. She was not informed of anything by FRO until she contacted the Ombudsman’s office in December.



The abusive nature of the enforcement agents who never seem to know anything, is due to the screaming recipients not getting support payments that they often know are being paid, Hostile Payers who are not being credited for their payments. As well as the many thousands of case holders that are getting no attention. Cant imagine they are chipper, I have had to show my pay stubs to my screaming Ex. To show that it is not that I am not paying the ordered support.

When she contacted FRO they stuck to “ he is not paying.” She told them about the garnishment on my pay and that she had seen this. “His employer must not be sending it properly.” Was the next excuse she was given. We have a good relationship other than support not getting to her.

I have called FRO many times as I am paying and the money is not going to my children, and it is not showing up as being paid. I can admit that these calls usually end with me yelling at some smug Enforcement Agent who is telling me “that’s what the computer is telling me.” I even walk one Agent through a little lesson in logic. Spock,, he is not! If there is a Federal garnishment in place against me and I am on EI, how can you not get the payment? He still said “that’s what the computer says.” Really Gomer? How do you get home at night without your trusty computer telling you where to go? Even after proving my payments, it doesn’t always show up. It never stops.

I have talked to two other Mothers who are both owed more than $10,000 in arrears who have been told to hire private investigators to find where their ex’s work or live. Both have provided this information to the FRO and still can’t get FRO to enforce the orders. I could introduce you to these women, but their privacy is too important. Some interesting information I found stating that FRO was given $40 million in 2006 for a state of the art computer system and to help set up Special Enforcement Teams who’s sole purpose is to track down and find ways to collect from delinquent Payers. So why are people being told to hire Private Investigators? What’s next? Will they hire,,, The Dogg? This is money well spent.



One of these women was forced to sell her home, because she is supporting her three children on her salary of $35,000/yr. Without the support that was court order, and not enforced by FRO. The over ten thousand dollars she is owed would have helped I’m sure. I am not saying that these payments are not being made. I have no way of knowing that, however I can say that no payments are being forwarded to the recipients. And nothing is being done to find out what is going on. Or at least not that FRO is telling.



These are not isolated incidents. Talk to anyone involved with FRO, That includes your MPP’ s office staff. You will find these stories are everywhere. Or, to make it easy check out Deadbeat Government agency finally pays up, written by Antonella Artuso.

Year after year the Ontario Ombudsman and the Ontario Auditor General give the Family Responsibilities Office failing grades. (as far back as 2003).Yet seemingly, this office actually gets worse, not better. The Ministry of Community and Social Services Office sits idly by and pretends things are going great. I only said that because when I was on their web site, the site speaks glowingly about the success of the program.

It is an absolute insult for me to read the fiction on this site.



I know first hand how they operate. The site claims “The Family Responsibility Office helps people meet their court-ordered spousal/child support responsibilities. It also claims “we work to make sure that support payments flow from the person who pays support to the person receives it”. If you count 40 threatening letters in 27 months to someone who voluntarily had his wages garnished to have proof through a third party, fair? Is that help? The FRO Web site also claims they handle $650 million in collected payments per year from 180,000 cases that represents nearly 400,000 people.



I would think the number of people would be higher as I think of my children as people too. And see first hand how my children could befit from my payments but they are lost in the shuffle and I cant afford to pay them twice. Well I guess the summer is coming. I could tent it for the summer. Somewhere in the offices of FRO my case managers can be heard “ya gotta do whatcha gotta do.”



According to the Auditor General’s report from 2010, FRO is really only working on about 15% of the 180,000 cases. That is 27,000 cases (In reality) of the 180,000 cases. That also means 153,000 cases are not being worked on. If they are handling $650 million? that, I believe brakes down to $24,074.04 per case, per year, meaning the average monthly payment is $2,006.17 per month. There are support guide lines you can look them up on-line. I have two children who I pay support through this office for. For my payment to be $2006.04 per month. My income would need to be over 150,000 per year. Am I to believe that the average income for people in this program is $ 150,000 per year? I for one, highly doubt that, now $650 million divided by 180,000 is 3,611 per year, per case . Which is about $300 per month meaning the average income is more like $36,000 and, one child in the system. That I believe. I would only have one case file had it not be for FRO to begin with. So this should read that FRO should collect 650 million and should handle 180,000 cases? Of the 1.3 billion of uncollected support payments as of 2006. $200 million was owed to Ontario works that was then, I wonder how much now? They don’t just waste their budget they take for other budgets too. Don’t believe me, check with Ontario Works and ODSP. I have two letters from Ontario works offices trying to collect money form me, because FRO didn’t send my payments to them as they were ordered to do. What? The Family Responsibilities Office didn’t follow an order? Instead they pass the buck to me! I hope you are keeping track of the millions FRO is costing tax payers. I lost count I think we are passed the half billion mark since 2003. Again this is just information that is readily available to all citizens of this Province. It’s called the freedom of information act.



As I mentioned before, I have been forced to change careers. Maybe I should apply for the position of Director of FRO. I am willing to bet one of the two pennies I have left to rub together, that I am grossly under-qualified. How I could possibly do worse than nothing? I can tell you this much. I would not keep the same management staff that has not achieved even reasonable results or any signs of improvements since 2003. Unless spending $50 million of our tax dollars is the goal.

I would like to give a shout out to my case manager who I can’t name. I may not have been able to fight you in the court of law, But I can take you the court of public opinion as it is free! All I need is an opinion. Oh this year is special. And I don’t think you have enough spin to weasel your way out of this.

I for one would like to see our elected officials act as responsible government and stop this obscene waste of tax money.

Please feel free to contact your MPP. Call the Minister of Community and Social Services Office. The Family Responsibilities Office themselves, Minister Madeline Meilleur MPP. home riding of Ottawa - Vanier (613- 744-4484).

However, if you call FRO and don’t have a case number you can’t get past the automated call directory. Amazing how their automated call service works.



I urge everyone to stand up for yourself, your children, heck stand up for one another. These are our tax dollars. It seems we don’t stand up until services disappear, there are even longer waiting times for said services or our taxes are raised. It’s time of our Provincial Government to become responsible to the tax payers and start cutting wasteful spending, not our services. And they are OUR SERVICES!!!

My Traumatic Brain Injury

   My accident happened July 31, 2009. I was rollerblading when I stumbled on some small rocks. I got my balance and was rolling backward, just about to turn and……

    I hear my name, and see the girl from the store and her brother running toward me. It’s taking them forever to get to me. Why are you moving so slow? The best way I can explain it, is the slow motion part at the end of a action movie when the hero is dying and his side kick is running to save him, very surreal. A few months later this young women who found me lying in the street, and I my mind saved my life. Would also shatter my belief system. In just a few short words everything I believed about life and death was gone. This is what she said. “ I thought you were dead.” “You didn’t move I was yelling at you, and you didn’t move when I touched you, you jumped and tried to get up.” “ You scared me”. I thought, I saw you get out of your car? I saw you running to me? She tells me I wasn’t awake. Was I dreaming? This is something that still bothers me as I don’t have an answer for this. Not one I am willing to except. She and her brother helped me to the house I told them I lived in, I was only off by two doors. What do you want? I just whacked my melon pretty hard. The neighbors took over from there as this girl and her brother where on their way to work at the store that she knew me from. She had just asked me my name the day before. She had served me at that store for about a year. I think everyone who has met me will vouch for me here. I will talk to anybody. So to say we have talk a few times would be an a bit of an understatement. I have since moved, therefore I no longer see her or her brother any more. Funny how things work out isn’t it? Possibly the most profound moment in my life. The births of my children exempted. The person I many very well owe my life, only spent one year in it and not a big role either. I say this as it was her voice I heard calling to me and when she touched me I woke up. I went to the hospital after my neighbors got me home and my better and smarter half took control.

    The hospital was very busy, it was Friday night after all. I ended up talking my way out of waiting. I have had a few concussions in my day. Just wake me up every hour or so. I assured her. There would be no need as I spent most of my night awake sick to my stomach. There was no way of getting out of another trip to the hospital, however I didn’t see the need in our eight month old to be there for it. There was no one available to watch him. So I was dropped off at the E.R doors. I was one of few people there this time. I don’t think I got all the way checked in before I was with a doctor. All I said was I hit my head yesterday and had been sick to my stomach. Before I knew it I was on my way for a CT scan. Ok now your get a little carried away, is this just because I forgot it was August? Come on it’s the 1^st I would have forgotten that, even before I fell! The doctor told me she had some not so good news. I asked her if I had killed the hamster? The doctor didn’t share my sense of humor. The doctor gave me some pills and a glass of water. The pills where for the head ache she assured me was coming. I have know idea what those pills were, but WOW! The rest was a little difficult for me to understand thank-you pills. She told me I had some bleeding in my brain and they had called and my family, and they where on their way.

   I had a total of four hemorrhages in my brain. Mostly in the center of my frontal lobe, One massive bleed and three minor bleeds. Any hemorrhage in your brain is not a good thing. Kind of like a stroke. This is what they call a Traumatic Brain Injury or TBI. There really was nothing they could do just medicate me and hope the bleeding stopped. Its not like they can just sew your brain back together. I really didn’t understand what was going on, and that was probably for the best. I remember thinking they where over reacting this isn’t happening I am not going down this way, not without a fight. I don’t know if thinking this way helped or not, but it couldn’t have hurt. I have recovered almost fully, and faster then I expected. I say this in hide site. I really didn’t started to make progress until we realized these problems I encountered where the results of the injury. Treating me like others that suffer these same symptoms without a TBI wasn’t working. It proved to be a difficult and trying thing to get through. I sometimes think it has been harder for the people around me, then it was on me. I don’t think any of them understand what I have been through, and still struggle with from time to time. Just like I don’t remember all of what has happened with me, the things I have done or said to the people that have been here with me. There have been times I didn’t even know myself at all. A few have not made it to the end of this journey as they haven’t been around in awhile. I can’t say that I blame them, but I wish they didn’t blame me.

   What I have gone through is not uncommon for people that have suffered a TBI. Although the results and recovery can be very different pending on the area of the brain that has been damaged. My most damaged area was the center of my frontal lobe. This area is what makes us who we are. I found this information on neuroskills.com “This is your emotional control center and the home of to our personality. There is no other area of the brain which lesions can cause as wide range of symptoms.” “The frontal lobe is involved with motor function, problem solving, spontaneity, memory, language, initiation, judgment, impulse control, social and sexual behavior.” If I had damaged the occipital lobe I may have had problems with or loss of vision, colour blindness, visual hallucinations, Ect. You get the point. There are four lobes divided into two hemispheres. Each controlling different functions. There is to much, to explain what each lobes functions are. I will just tell you some of my own symptoms. At first it was the obvious memory problems and I would ware down easily. I had a bad habit of hanging up on people as I would forget who I was talking to, or what we were talking about so I would just hang up. Sometimes in the middle of my own sentence. I think it was about a month or so after my injury that I found I couldn’t read or write any more. This just happened one day. I read the paper and magazines in the hospital then out of the blue nothing. I wasn’t all that great at reading to begin with, but I couldn’t read at a grade one level when this happened. I couldn’t do simple math in my head either, I could if I wrote it down. It was a little embarrassing to have to write down 11- 7 = 4, but I had to. I did crossword puzzles and looked up the words I didn’t know the meaning of. It came back slowly.



    It was the emotional problems that where the hardest to deal with and get past. And to some extent I am still working on this, however I feel better then I have ever felt before or after my TBI. I have had to learn to deal with all of my emotions over again. I really have had to find my self, for most that is just a metaphor. At first I just seemed to have very little patience, and angered easily. Then the depression started I would bounce up and down sometimes hourly with outbursts of anger. The longer it went the more volatile I got. Then I started becoming suicidal, and paranoid, after a car accident I was pushed by my family and finally agreed to see a psychiatrist. I was put on a medication to help me deal with the depression that had taken hold of me. I was losing my battle and needed the help. At first it was good, but about two months later things took a turn for the worse. Quickly becoming worse then ever. My angry outbursts had become all out rage, the depression made my more suicidal then before. I was becoming more paranoid day by day. I could see I was spinning out of control, and I thought the people closest to me were doing this to me on propose. I know now and to a point then that this wasn’t true. I just couldn’t stop it. I hated myself for hating the people closest to me. I felt like I was losing my mind if I had not already lost it.

    A change in thinking and medication made these feelings and thoughts subside. I was starting to resemble the person I was before. I don’t see the psychiatrist any more. I am on the right medication now it’s just a matter of fine touning the dosage. At first the thinking was the depression came from the injury and that was the cause of all the problems I was experiencing. When the thinking change to the area of the brain that had been damaged being the cause of the symptoms. I had realized that my sense of smell was gone the psychiatrist took great interest in that information this was the first time he showed a reaction and was soon checking my MRI’ s and CT scans. Soon I was put on Seroquel. Seroquel affects the neurotransmitters in the brain. The neurotransmitters that where no longer working or being produced after my injury.

   I assume I will need to be on this medication for the remainder of my life. A life I am lucky to have. I have lost some friends and even some loved ones through all of this, but I am alive and very thankful for that. I have been through my own personal hell and have taken others along for the scariest rollercoaster ride you can imagine. I wish I hadn’t lost these people while this was going on however I can’t change it. I can’t tell you how hard it is to be trapped in your own mind watching yourself do and say things you know you shouldn’t and don’t want yourself to do. I cant explain it to you to make you understand but I felt like I was watching someone else control me. I don’t know why or how this happens. I can only tell you that it did happen to me, and has and will happen to many others. If you are one of the unfortunate people watching your loved one go through this please be patience and try not to take it to heart your loved one doesn’t know what they are doing. What they do realize they are doing, they don’t want to. It is important that you don’t show them how much they have hurt you. I know that sounds wrong, but they can switch in a split second and you can’t give the depression any fuel or you may lose them forever. They can and will came back to you. You need to be there to help guide them through this maze of emotions they no longer understand. You cant push them as this will make them push back making things worse. They may not seem like the same person, but they are there, You need to find a way to talk to the one you know, pick your spots carefully cause when you can get through to them the real progress can be made. I have found counseling very helpful in my quest to learn to handle my emotions again. Part of this is also up to the brain to find ways around the damaged brain tissue as well. It’s like the telephone lines being knocked down, your phone will not work till the lines get fixed or rerouted. Maybe the rest of towns phones work just not in your area. After a TBI parts of the brain will go into hibernation as long as a year, so knowing the full extent of the damage can take a year or two. Look for little things, try to catch it as soon as you can. It could save your life again or at the very least save you a lot of extra work.

   So far since my fall I have learned or reminded myself to read and write I read better then before go figure. I can now do math in my head, but it has yet to get back to were it was before. A year ago I didn’t understand any of my feeling or thoughts, I didn’t even no who I was. I have paid a hefty price for one little stumble, physically, mentally and emotionally. I have lost some close friends, my better half and almost myself. These people I miss, some greatly. I have learned more about myself in the last one and a half years then most will learn in a life time. I have found more strength within myself then I ever knew I had. When I didn’t have it for myself I found with my loved ones. For that I will never be able to express my gratitude. Last summer one of my support system was taken from us in an accident at work. I never got the chance to thank him for all of his help. But Craig I will never forget you or what you have done for me. If you notice the name of my blog is in Craig’s memory. He use to say “I have an opinion!, and I will give it to you”. For those that didn’t make it to the end of my nightmare I truly apologize for everything I have put you through, and I don’t hold it against you. I do hope that someday you can find it within yourself to forgive me, and maybe we can start again. To this day and for the remainder of my life I will always have a special place in my heart for the people that found me, and will always remember the voice that saved me. I have thanked these people however I have never found the words to express how thankful I truly am. The odds of survival after an injury like this are about 20 % with immediate medical attention and go down the longer it takes to receive it. I was over 12 hours after I suffered the injury. So when I say I am lucky to be where I am today it is a major understatement. Even after you get past the injury its self there is the depression, reckless risky behavior, and complete personality changes are waiting. I can’t tell you what symptoms your TBI survivor will have like I said it depends on the location of the damage. The doctors really can’t predict what you will do either. Nobody can say with complete certainty. I suggest you do your homework and watch your loved one closely over the next year or two. Watch for the first signs and try to catch it as soon as you can. The longer you wait the harder and the longer the road will be. I know I have said this before. I just can’t tell you how important this is. For those of you that are suffering the symptoms please take it from someone who has been there. You can’t undo your injury, you may not ever get it all back exactly the way it was, however you can’t give up. Every time I was told I wouldn’t be able to do this or that. I took it as a personal challenge. That was the person I was coming out. If you know me you know I am competitive. So far I have proved everyone wrong I hope I can prove myself wrong as I do have some doubts from time to time. I am not 100 % but I am very close. The next step is to reinstituted more expects to my everyday life, this will take time as it needs to be done slowly so that I can adjust to the new pressure a little bit at a time. What I use to do as my everyday life has become over whelming at times. I have rushed this process before and had set backs so I will take it as slow as I need to. I can’t get discouraged this is just the way it is. I can’t let others push me to do things quicker then what is comfortable for me. The most important thing is I can’t give up. I have come to far to give up now. I wish you all the best with your recovery. Again the best advice is don’t waste your time feeling sorry for yourself you can’t change it. Never give up! Nobody knows what you can achieve. Always push yourself to be better tomorrow. Trust the people that are there with you, they love you, even if you can’t see it at this time. You will. Don’t be to surprised if some people walk away from you it is hard for them too. You have to be stronger then that. The people taking the brunt of the backlash. Try to remember your survivor doesn’t mean to do these things, they are confused and don’t know who to trust I didn’t even trust myself. I wish I could tell you some easy way to get through these very trying times, but the truth is there isn’t an easy way. I have come out of this a new man, I have learned many things, both about myself and others. If I could go back and change things I most certainly wouldn’t do it again, but I am not mad that it happened anymore. I have been given a gift it just came in a really ugly package.





    Thank you for your time and good luck with your fight. R. England.

I am confused?!

   What the heck is going on? I am confused…. Everything I thought I knew about the way the parties worked, doesn’t seem to be true anymore. The Liberals are for helping those in need. The Conservative are for big business and crime and punishment.  The NDP or Jack, well who knows. I have mentioned before. I am doing some upgrading and preparing for college. Its been a long time since I have been in a classroom, out side of my children’s classrooms of course. I didn’t need to prepare for that. I also had that head injury thing and have found counseling very helpful. For both of these I have taken advantage of the services at the John Howard Society here in town. I can walk there within ten minutes so it’s very convenient. I have become comfortable with my counselor Heather and the tutors and teachers there. Beth was the first teacher to go and left about a month and a half ago. Since Steve has stepped in and made up for the loss. He is also responsible for my new found fondness for writing so you can blame him for all your extra reading. Yesterday I found out my next appointment with Heather may be my last as the funding it no longer there. Today I find that Steve is gone next week!! You have to be joking, next week they will be sending a teacher from the John Howard in the next town, but guess what she is gone next month. It takes time to build trust with a counselor and for us older students our teachers as well. So how does this make scene. This is not very good management. So I called and spoke to the Executive Officer of John Howard Durham, something like that I kind of missed the title as I was shocked when I heard it. I thought I would get a answering machine to tell you the truth. I voiced my opinion and was apologized to and thanked for my concern. I was also told that funding had dried up form some charities, that to me is understandable as it has been a little lean for the last few years. I was also told that some funding had been cut from this office. So I looked up these offices and ministers. They where all Provincial offices. This is where I get confused. Ontario is in an election year as well as the Nation. In Ontario we have a Liberal Government. The Liberals are for helping people, but they cut funding to a organization that was helping me and many more. On the Federal side the Liberals and the rest of the coalition stop a budget aimed at helping people.

   Today was budget day in Ontario and the finance minister stood up and pat his party on the back for saving Ontario and Canada for that matter from the global depression pointing to the recovery of jobs in Ontario and how the U.S and Great Britain have not recovered even close to numbers as we here in Ontario and Canada have. If you are pointing out how much better off we are here in Canada then other nations, wouldn’t that be the Federal Government's work you are claiming as yours? Your Federal counter parts have stopped the Conservatives from helping the have nots of this Nation. The Minster went on to say they would spend more for Education promising new schools, but wait why did you cut the funding for adults learning programs and made it harder to for me to get the help I need, and stopped others from get any help at all? I think the Federal and Ontario Liberals should stop talking and have a little meeting. You are contradicting one another and if you keep going neither of you will be in power when the dust settles. After all the hard work the Federal Government did in the name of the Ontario Liberals. You don’t want your Federal friends to be promising to taxes the companies that are supplying the jobs you are pointing to. Why try to chase them out I don’t get it? I don’t think anyone is getting your vision here. You have change from your roots and keep flip flopping and saying what ever sounds good at the time. Now the Federal Liberals are promising to give money to you for post secondary education but the problem is the Conservatives have already done this a few years ago remember and you didn’t agree then. Now you promise to give less money then we would get in the current system. The big difference is the Conservative match you and the Liberals will just give you up to $1,500 per year of school up to $6000 if you qualify, if not its $1000 per year up to $4000. Most will not qualify for the higher amount as you will need a income under $20,000 per year. There are perimeters in the current system for that income level as well. If you put in five hundred dollars per year, Which is about $ 40.00 a month and the Conservatives match that over 15 years your child will have fifteen thousand for school that’s a lot better then $4000 isn’t it?



   I must say I am surprised to see that it is the Conservatives that have figured it out if you want to lead this country or just one of her wonderful Provinces or Territories. You can’t be a big C Conservative on all things or a big L Liberal or Jack Layton on everything either. You have to do what is good for us all, and be a true leader. So please stop the finger pointing and playing the blame game and get down to finding a way to do what is good for Canada her provinces, territories and most of all her people.





    Thank- you as always. R. England

Lets be realistic

 
    I was reading the paper and listening to the new in the background this evening. I read two stories of people being murdered, and I also picked up one murder story in the background. One of those murder victims was a young exotic dancer. This reminded of a story in the paper not to long ago. The story then was about a court case in I think, in The Ontario Supreme Court that challenges the Ontario prostitution laws sighting the dangers involved. I don’t know if the case is over or moved on to The Supreme Court of Canada? They said if the courts ruled the one way it would pave the way for legalized prostitution in Ontario. Then I hear Michael Ignatieff in the background talking about how they are against “ super jails” and against something about the jets and something else, I tuned him out sorry, I just don’t like the guy, he seems shifty, arrogant and pompous to me. Yes we know the Liberals idea of defense. If you missed it. The post is History Repeating. Now this all got me thinking. This is how my mind works, it takes two things seemingly not connected and mixes it all to gather and viola. Something to write about.

    Here is a, not so Conservative thought. The writing seems to be on the wall that legalized prostitution is coming so I am going to say it. Lets just excepted it and at least control it. Red light districts have worked elsewhere in the world. I am going on what people have told me about their experiences as tourists so take that with a grain of salt. There are studies to show  both it works, and doesn’t work. So that’s a dead end. I have been in about 90% of the major cities of the U.S and Canada. I can tell you that the drug and prostitution problems are everywhere and not going away. They are also not hidden away. So lets be realistic, this way isn’t working. So maybe we should try to at least corral the problem. This way needle exchanges and methadone clinics can be where they are needed. We can have regular testing for prostitutes who of course will need a license and will have protection. I would lean toward legalizing pot too. Again it is a major cost to fight and, we don’t seem we are getting anywhere. At the moment people are destroying property trying to hide their grow op’s. Costing millions in insurance claims and, we all know what happens when those guys lose money, we pay more. If we legalize it and I think most would agree it is going to happen anyway. We can tax it too. Something that has cost us billions to fight a losing battle. Can turn around and generate millions new revenue maybe even more. The money saved in police budgets can be put to better use like finding killers and fighting organized crime. Which will take a serious kick in the teeth when we take two major money makes from them. The rest can go to health care to clear our conscious. This would also take a lot of people out of the justice system therefore opening space in our over populated jails and maybe forgoing the need for some of these new jails. One more point on the jails thing. Mr. Ignatieff doesn’t want “ Super jails”. I have a question. Would you like say 500 little jails? Lets go all out and not put locks on the doors too! If we can’t find 50 communities willing to have jails with lots of locks. How will you find 500 communities willing to take jails without locks? Be realistic.

    After the Earthquakes and Tsunamis in Japan and subsequent cracked nuclear reactors and radiation leaks. People took to protesting the Nuclear Power Plant down the road from me at Darlington. I don’t understand this. First off, you should have paid attention in geography class. The Ring of Fire is more then a Johny Cash song. If I remember correctly this Ring of Fire is the Pacific Plate. It is home to most of the worlds Volcanoes and one of the most active areas in the world as far as seismic activity (earthquakes) go. I would think this would be key information before digging a big hole in the ground over or even close to the worlds most active fault lines. Mr. Alderson my grade nine geography teacher must have been a geniuses. Then to top it all off you put  what amounts to a nuclear bomb in the hole and hope for the best? You are sure this is wise? We here in Ontario are not in the same boat as Japan. There is however no less then five nuke plants in California. Guess nobody told them they are prone to earthquakes too. Sorry got off track a little. I wished I could ask the protesters what they would like us to do? Should we go back to coal burning hydro plants? I thought you didn’t like that idea the first time? We can’t put up windmills or solar fields as nobody wants those either. They are an eye sore everyone cries. I guess we could just abandon this whole pesky electricity thing. Just go back to candle light, hand pumping your water oh and the best is the good old out house. Yup the old out house, smells ever so pleasant in the summer and, you don’t want to know what it is like first thing in the morning, in January. I will tell you. You're awake after your visit!! If you stick around to read the paper you may find yourself stuck. Somehow I can see a someone finding something to complain about if we did that. So please oh righteous one. What shall we do?

    My point is we have come to a point where we have to be realistic, Sometimes we have to let go of old ways, and crave out new paths. There are times we need to stop and think things through. Pick the things we can fix and stop chancing our tail trying to fix the things we can’t. Maybe we are just taking the wrong approach. Maybe we need to refresh our thinking.

    I don’t care how you vote. I do hope you vote the way I do, doesn’t everyone. The most important thing is you take some time to think about who you are voting for and why you are voting for them. Because that’s the way I have always voted or all my friends/family are voting this way doesn’t seem like a good reason. Please be realistic. These are just examples and outside of the jails thing are not topics in this election, but you never know what could pop up. Oh and I don’t really know 100% how I feel about most of the topics I have talked about. Not yet and really don’t need to worry about them not today. Tomorrow could change, till then I can mull it over. I do know we need to rethink a few things and stop banging our heads off the wall, and do things that make a difference.

   Logic will get you form A to Z, imagination will get everywhere. Albert Einstein.



   Once again, Thank-you for your time. R. England

First Things First

                      
                        
                          

　

    Hello and welcome to my thoughts. I have always had a opinion however have always had a problem in expressing it. Those who know me would tell you the same thing. I have had those close to me read some of what I have written, so that they could give me feed back. It worked, the best feed back was. Who wrote that for you? It doesn’t sound like you. That I take as a compliment. I know its doesn’t sound like me, if it did you wouldn’t read it. This is a way I can get my message a crossed to everyone without getting upset and side tracked. If you don’t agree with my point of view stop reading, But do come back and try a different post. I don’t expect everyone to agree with me it would be a boring world if you did. That being said. What I think, is what I think. I make no apologizes for it as this is my opinion. I believe you have the right to your opinion as well. I do not mean to offend anyone. If you want to challenge me on something great if I am wrong I can live with it. Just keep in mind I do research what I write about.

    I plan to write about, what I want to write about that day. I can tell you there will be some politics. Just because politics interests me. I love to watch some blow hard flat out lie and watch as people eat it up. In this day and age the truth is at your finger tips. My political views are all over the place if you ask me. I am right of center for the most part, but I don’t care if gay people want to get married. Don’t fret to much about it if they are like everyone else they to will be divorced in five years anyway. I will do some writing about hockey I am sure, but not right away. I am a Sens fan and they are doing their Leafs impression so I will hold off till at least the draft. I have plans to a blog about what recovering from a head injury is really like as I have first hand experience with this and there is so much more to it then you know. It is a very difficult thing for those around the recovering person, and much worse for the person going thought it. I find hearing Marc Savard talking about his problems very interesting. I can read between the lines unlike the rest of you. If you know someone going thought this, be patient they are going through a hell you cant imagine. They will get through it in time. The most important thing is they never give up and they have to push themselves to get better. You can’t push them! For the loved ones taking the brunt of the back lash don’t take it to heart they don’t mean it and wont remember doing. I will get to work on this post soon as I am starting to write it here and now. These are the most important points I can give you.

    I would also like you to suggest topics. If don’t have the time to research it maybe I can do it for you. I am a information junkie, ( stop laughing it’s true ) I have my lap top at arms reach at all times. If some thing is on TV and I want to know more. I look it up. If some random thought pops into my head I research it. Watching the history channel is just futile I can never get through a half hour show. I have even missed MASH. Did you know that the show lasted almost four times as long as the Korean War. The War was fought for three years, the show lasted eleven. The Korean war was the first time helicopters were used to air lift troops to the Mash Units. The survival rate was amazing too, 97% chance of living once at the unit, that was in the 1950’s and a few miles form the front lines. That’s impressive.

    This really isn’t much of anything. I just wanted to give you a feel of what my intentions are and just say hello. So I will let you get back to whatever it is you should be doing. Thank you for your time. I hope to get your feed back in the future. Take care, you will hear form me soon.

History Repeating

History Repeating

So let me start by telling you, it has been a while since I have paid much attention to the news. I am not completely out of touch. I have heard about the disaster in Japan and the mess that has come to a head in northern Africa. The other night my show ended and before I could change the channel to Sports Center. The National news program started. You will not believe this! I was shocked and amazed to find the news. Was a repeat!!!?? I didn’t know they did this. I know it was a repeat of a 2008 program. The lead story was that of the Liberals, NDP and the Bloc forming a collision to block the federal Budget and force an Election. I remember how upset the population was. It was just one year after we elected the Conservative Government. What it seemed to boiled down to was the Liberals thought they had ran with the wrong leader and now wanted a do over.

The next day the news papers had a printing problem as they too, have reprinted the same articles from 2008. I read a little farther to find, now brace yourself, these same three parties have done it again! I am still baffled by this. I am also offended to say the least, Mr. New lib demi bloc. Do you really thing I forgot about the tamper tantrum you had a little over two years ago? Do you think the people of this Nation are so dense we can’t see that you are doing the same thing? This time you blocked a budget that highlights include more money for people on guaranteed income to help off set raising food prices. Oh and when you are pushing for more ethanol in fuel, you are going to drive the price of the food even higher. For those of you who have been under a rock. Ethanol is made from corn, and corn,, is in everything. Medication included. The people who were going to benefit the most from these hikes in their income. Would have been single seniors by $ 600 per year and senior couples $ 840 per year. Did you just say, you don’t think my grandmother deserves more money so she can afford to eat? I don’t know where, or by whom you were raised, but I can tell you where I come from, and the way I was raised, was to respect my elders that included my Grandparents.



Another big investment was to forgive up to $ 40,000 of student loads for doctors who settled in rural areas. This was an effort to bring more doctors the wonderful folks in the country who grow, raise and harvest our food. Are you telling Canadians, you don’t want to help the people who provide this essential service? For us forgetful, foolish, Canadian Citizens? Why do you insist on committing political suicide on national television? I do see your point. We don’t need the farmers of this nation. We can all just grow our own food in the postage stamp yards we have here in the cities. I hope my neighbors don’t mind the cows and chickens I will need to keep out in the backyard. The Conservatives also wanted to make it easier to get funding for the, “have not’s” to get a post secondary education, as you need a collage degree to sweep the floor in today job market. I can see how that would be a bad idea. I mean we can out source all the jobs to people from other countries. Right? That makes more sense. But wait. If we can’t afford collage and we can’t get work. Who is going to pay your salary? How will we eat? You see there is a problem with your way. Maybe that’s why you are not running this country. That’s Canada Mr. Ignatieff.

The coalition points to money that is being spent to buy the F-35 Joint Strike Fighter jet. I must tell you I have a little thing for The F-35 this is a truly wild machine. The JSF F-35 is a 5^th generation stealth fighter that is as good air to air as it is air to ground, and is versatile enough to switch mid mission without landing and re-arming. It is meant to replace the 30 year old F 18 fighters we are currently using. We had 80 F 18’s however we have lost a few in recent years. These are the planes that are patrolling our air space. Air space that our planes needed to escort Russian spy planes out of a few years back. Canada is one of ten nations involved with this fighter program which by the way started in 1997 with production starting in 2006. The Conservatives where not elected until 2006. The other countries involved in this program would be, all of our allies. That includes The U.S and Britain. Britain by the why has the second most money into this program. They have two billion invested and are a level 1 partner, Italy has one billion invested and is a level 2 partner. Canada is a level 3 partner with 150 million invested. That investment allows Canadian companies to bid on High Tech contracts. So its kind of a investment in Canada too. We could have bought the Euro-fighter Typhoon, a 4^th generation non stealth fighter jet we kicked tires on. They cost 90 million each, and we need 80 of them.



We may not have to spend so much on our defenses, if the last Liberal Government would have spent some smart money on defense. We really would be patrol our coasts in row boats, and our air space with hot air balloons if The Liberals have their way. Case in point the last Liberal Government bought four retired British submarines. You remember the HMCS Chicoutimi? Those four subs where docked for an inquiry into the fire that cost the life of Lieut. Chris Saunders. This left Canada without a sub for the first time since 1961. So when I say row boats, and hot air balloons I am only half joking. The plus side though, The New lib demi blocs can supply the fuel for the balloons. In case you haven’t noticed there is a lot of tension in some areas of the world. We now have some of those F- 18’s in Libya.

Maybe if Michael Igantieff had spent some more time here in Canada he would know we also have our brave men and women of our Armed Forces in Afghanistan. Maybe he would know we want them all back safe. If giving them the proper tools to do the job they are there to do. Then so be it. Maybe Mr. Igantieff if you where here in this country, and not south of the border with you lips stuck to the collective American rear end. You would have heard about our Highway of Heroes. I have stood in the winters cold, and in the summers heat to show my respect for the brave solider who isn’t going to ask for old age security. I am not afraid to tell you I have wiped my tiers every time.



So, what is really the problem here? Is it just that you really want to be The Prime Minister? How will that work? Will you share the seat? Or will you turn on each other? I thought it was the bleeding heart liberals always wanting to give out a helping hand? What’s your story Jack? You don’t support the worker, after they have retired? Let me just say one last thing. If this election goes on, and the Conservatives remind the Great people of this wonderful land, what was so horrible about this budget. If these people love their Grandparents and Parents as much as I do. That you have tried this before, and that you again made a deal with the Bloc to get your way. There could be a serious back lash. So much so it will have you seeing blue! Everywhere. I would think, if the majority of the population didn’t like the way things are going, I would have heard people talking about it. So Mr. Ignatieff when all is said and done. I will draw you a map to the closest U.S border crossing and Jack if the back lash hurts your party I am sure you can get a job working at the Shouldice Clinic. I hope that you will not be in need of retraining as you don’t want Canadians to have that available to them….. Good luck!! Let the mud fly…. And lets keep it to mud!









Thank - you, for your time. Robert England.